Monday, September 24, 2012

Today as I find myself in the solitude of my room, I find myself passenger on a train of thought, of new and old, of thoughts I wish to retain within me, thoughts I want to be mine forever and of thoughts I wished I never had. As I cast a glance around my 10X10ft abode, the gutka stained walls and the storm of Desi sharab bottles strewn across are a painful reminder of a reality I wish were a nightmare from which I could awake. In all honesty, the room I call mine is shared between the 5 of us. Allow me to enlighten you about my happy family;

I am the youngest sister to 3 alcoholic brothers and toy to a sexually frustrated father. The woman who brought me among you was lost in the process and took with her the comfort of her arms that never held me, her breasts that never fed me, her love that never warmed me and a myriad of memories which I can only imagine and wish to experience. It is in these circumstances that I have aged into a young girl of 13 and into a woman much beyond these years.

The glass factory I toil in has done little to aid me in my beauty, but that's a small price to pay for the meals it has earned me, and of course every now and then the set of occasional bangles I am provided and allowed to decorate my now built wrists. Their clinking as I muscle my way through my chores helps pass the  time. Today, I've been let off work early and been allowed to remain solitary in the 4 walls I have for so long now tried to accept as my home.

And, so on my train of thought I am lost. Today, I am Queen to a palace. Master of my own will. Yet, I cant help but wonder, if there is another palace in the world where the Queen is famished because she is duty bound to feed all the men that reside in her compound? Is there a another palace where the Queen is touched and tortured by the very men she shares her blood with? Another palace on this Earth in which the Queen herself is slave? And with these thoughts I glance at the clock that has aged with me and watch the seconds tick by. The passing of seconds has brought with them tears, for these thoughts pang my heart and plague my existence. Yet, I comfort myself in my palace and smile at the clock that has been a faithful companion through the years, never failing to remind me of my impending imprisonment.

As the first of the occupants walks in, his breath screaming of filth, I retreat to corner in my cell, and glance one last time at the clock on the opposite wall and plead for the rays of the next mornings sun. Till then I will sell my body to my father and to my brothers if they so please. And when they are done, I will lie in this very same corner, wipe my tears and with my thoughts I will build my palace. Brick by brick, I will build it. For thoughts are all that is mine in this world.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Okay! Lots of things to tell you. I have discovered. After transcending miles of forest and miles of desert, I have discovered. Here's my problem though, I'll be frank. I am unsure of the discovery I have made, unsure of the ramifications it holds and unsure still of what it truly means. Yet, there is something, deep inside the depths of my soul that tells me of an importance. An instinct, let's call it. And instinct that comes from the pit of the far right corner of my smaller intestine. Yes, that's how deep I mean. Perhaps even deeper, but the unpleasantness of what lies beyond has compelled me to not go pay to heed to instincts of the anus.

This discovery I talk of has the power to change the world, and to this I swear to the mole cushioned in my armpit hair. I have unravelled a secret, an answer, a power. Call it what suits you best, use it as you like. But, believe you me, what I have found is a panacea. What I've found is a paradigm of contentment. I'll share it with you because I know you need it, and because I want you too, to be as empowered as I have become.

Ah, lets inert that incessant need for an answer before the question has been asked, first, shall we? Slow down, take a dee breath in. Relax. I need you to let go of all inhibitions you hold, let go of all worries you hold within you, let go of all the negativity you encapsulate, let go and be free. And once you're done, once you've breathed out you'll be prepared discover what I have discovered. 

One last thing. They're no free lunches in life and I'll be damned to feed you your first. So, with you I shall make a deal. I'll share with you what I've found and you in return will share this with someone else. And in this way, my travels to the mountains and the deserts will become worthy. 

What I've found is something you hold within you. What I've found is nothing new, nothing out of this world, nothing you wouldn't already know of, no, this isn't water on Mars. What I've found is so simple, yet so decorated. I travelled only to return full circle, to find what I seek was in my possession all along. And thus, I discovered. I have discovered the beauty of simplicity and with this, I have discovered happiness.

Go now, find your happiness and go further, go share it with somebody.