Sunday, October 10, 2010
Redirecting. Blah Blah Blah.

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Right so, she had a long name. And a bit of a funny surname. but it had always been that way with me, it was like newtons law of gravitation, but it was applicable to names for me. The longer and weirder the name, the greater the force of attraction i experienced.
As i sat there, going through whatever pictures of her i could find, again and again and again, i was interrupted, by a noise, which by now, seemed all too familiar...

'Ahmar beta, padna nahi hein kya? IIT, facebook pe bethe bethe nahi pahauch jaoge.'

And again.

'Ahmar! Jao, pad lo!'

There is a reason why i call it a noise. It was incessant, loud and irritating. but, that was the thing with my mom, she was like an alarm clock, except a lot more stubborn. She wouldlt stop beeping until i woke up. Unfortunately, she didnt come along with a snooze button, and she being my mother, i coundnt grab her and throw her so that i could no more hear her, or better still hit her against the table till she broke.

Log out.

I got my lazy ass off the sofa and put it on my chair. Opened my physics book, and started reading.

Though, only to find her name, in every word of that book. Unfortunately, physics has more figures than words. And figures + her name = Not very pretty. And so, my mind wandered off. Into a world of its own,  after a trip to the woods, and also to other places, (the details of which i must not unveil otherwise i shall be slapped across the face by all of you) i returned back to reality.

The thing with reality is, its sucky. Worse than sucky actually. Its a bit gay, could be impotent too. Not sure though. basically, it is everything bad and more in this world.

I did not even know this girl. And she, unless she had been stalking my profile like i had been stalking hers, did not even know i existed. Yet, i could not stop thinking, about her, and about how things would be when we started dating and then when we got married, and whether we would fight a lot or no and how many kids we would have and what we would name them. Actually, i kinda got stuck on the having kids thing. I'm a bit horny that way, but hey, i'm 17 now, and i have a couple of hairs sticking out of chin and a faint moustache too. And i had proper sideburns also, until i SHAVED them off. So, since i was a man now, this was, but normal.

That evening, i logged in again, went through my notifications, friend requests, messages. Well, honestly, i had only 2 notifications. And that too about somebody who had posted questions like 'do you think ahmar is cute?' and 'would you ever go out with ahmar?'. The answers to both these questions, for any straight girl and any not so straight boy was obviously yes. Okay, maybe not. but i was prettaay popular with girls back in the day.

I had just learned to walk, and i had a clean shaven head, which, if inclined at the right angle could reflect the sunlight. Not to mention, i could talk, and that too in english.  I think it was a combination of all of these, that made all the girls my age, drool all over me and me, wet myself.

Anyway, i soon found myself on her profile. What a beauty she was. Her hair fell right into place, without her even having to try, in every one of the 5 pictures i had access too. Her smile, well, it made me smile. And her eyes, were fucking pretty. Heck, even her nose was beautiful.

I decided to add her as a friend. Well aware, she had no idea who i was, but i reasoned that when she read my name on her list of firend requests she would atleast get to know, that ahmar suhail was somebody.

The next morning, the first thing i did was to go online and see if she had accepted my request.
No response.
2 days, 3 days, 4, 5, 6. Days came, and they went.

Its been 4 months now. And my homepage tells me that she has become friends with other people from time to time. I have stopped caring now, but i still end up on her profile sometimes. She still has the same 5 pictures she had then, and i still havent gotten bored of going through them, like i hadnt then.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is coolest and sexiest of them all?
Yes, its me.



  1. Ahmar Suhail, you are truly the bomb.
    Even though I have nooo idea who the woman in description is, This piece is p-retty cool. :)
    Especially the lines about your mom (the same story in every family), the parameters by which you judge yourself to be a man (:P) and your belief that females, well, drool over you. :)
    The only thing hard for me to understand, is why you never thought of blogging before. :)
    Awesome start, welcome to the bloggers' world. :) Happy blogging, =D

  2. Only cause i'm cooler than the rest of yoou.
    but i'm here now, and here to stay!

  3. Hi! this post made me-
    -feel sorry for science students (hahaha...suckaa :P)
    -laugh with the whole incident with your mom and your alarm clock and the ridiculous image you have of yourself being a ladies man xD
    -go 'awww' in the para with the girl and the dreams regarding your marriage, the babies and their names :)
    -wonder if this is fiction or....?
    -wonder why you kept your talent hidden for so long

    Uhm, also, perhaps you've noticed the grammatical error in your blog's name? And since you 'could talk that too in english', maybe you should rectify it? :)
    Way to go, blogger buddy :D

  4. Hi! This comment made me:
    -Feel sorry for myself
    -Go aww. hahaha.
    -Want to tell you, that is partly fiction and partly true.
    -Thank you.

    And you stupid. Its a song! LOOOSER!

  5. I hate to interrupt, but even the song says "You're" cooler than me.

  6. Oh yeeh, right. I knew that. I dont like to plagiarise though. You see, its deep stuff.

  7. Stop following yourself. Seems too desperate.
    Just saying.

  8. LOL :P
    blogging is just the best way to get things out of your mind which you actually cannot say in life...
    Like the mother part.... :P

  9. Okay as bizarre as this might sound, I COMPLETELY understand.

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  11. I didnt know how that happened and now i dont know how to unfollow myself!
    hello disguise, good to know. :-D