Tuesday, June 26, 2012

I will run away and in my leaps I will find my dream. With every step, I will hit the ground harder and my heart will beat faster and I will be closer to my dream. I will chase like I chased the horizon hoping to find the end of the world, I will chase like I chased the beginning of a rainbow. And somewhere, in that ignorance I hope will lose my way and find my dream.

My heart beats a drum in my quest. A quest and nothing less, a quest for me to find myself in my dream. And as I hit the ground harder still, I find it hard to lose my way. For a road unobstructed only seems till I hit an end. And every road is the same and has been, for the horizon only seems further as I make my way and the rainbow only higher.

I want to be lost and find my way back. I want to be lost and yet I am trapped. To be lost is to be free, to be lost is to let the world lose you but have the world at your feet. To be lost is anything you want it to be, to be lost without boundaries. But I am trapped.

I have run to lose my way and now I will run to trip and lose a pretty face. I will trip and lose myself, and as my blood runs, and as I lose my pretty face I will a find a new world. I will find a world that will want to turn in disgust, a world incapable for taking me without my mask, I will find a world that is not afraid to lose me. I will run away to trip and find myself and in myself I will find my dream.

Ah. Finally, the road unobstructed is actually so. Finally the world bleeds all it true colours. Blacks and Browns mixed to disgust. I am far away from where I was, into my dream that I have found. The worlds cruelty is mine and in this cruelty I have found the world that has lost me.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

I know what you hide, the pain and the sufferings, I know the secrets that you have very carefully curtained. You can fool the world but I see through you. I see through that little gap you have left while you drew your curtains, so don't fool me. I see enough from this opening.

I am not one to catch a glimpse while rushing past to where I am headed. I am not one to be disappointed with a stubborn weed, one that will move on to the next,  to one far less divine but far more easily obtained. For you are where I am headed and so I will not rush. For if you are stubborn, let me too be just as stubborn.

Let this be settled then. Let this be war then. Let this be fair though. Let this be honest in everyway. And let this be final. And in this war of words that we play, I and the deep rooted weed, let the opening widen, let me in to your workings, let me know you like you know yourself.

In your silence I am happy. And in your words that wrap me in a world of my own making, I am happy. In your laughter and the smile that follows, in your laughter of my own doing, I am happy. With you in tears and in the comfort of my hug, I am happy. With you, I am happy. So, please give me what I want, give me what is mine and yours, give me my happiness.

I asked you to play fair, but you are dishonest. You refuse to let me see beyond that teaser of an opening. Oh, well, I have reached where I am headed, perhaps your destination lies elsewhere. However, I will wait on this very spot. For if you ever decide to move on and come back in search of me, you will find me without trouble. Trouble for you? Now, we wouldn't want that would we?